You are not alone
Last 2 weeks I have gone through some really hard personal time. It was a roller coaster of emotions and lots of crying. I have felt so down that even breathing some days seemed like a job. I am sharing this because before starting my fitness journey I have battled depression for quite some time due to loosing my sister.
I am an introvert person and by default I do not like sharing my thoughts and feelings even with the people who are really close to me. When asked how I was, I would smile and say I'm doing good, while from the inside, my heart was breaking apart. It was my way of dealing, just shutting to myself, getting my emotions out through editing videos and hoping that tomorrow it's gonna be a better day.
Having all these feelings back, all the hopelessness and just sense of no point this week scared the hell out of me. Depression is a dark place and knowing how hard I worked to be where I am today, made me all the more scared not to go back. So I did something I wouldn't do before - I reached out and talked about my feelings. Not having to stuff all the emotions inside of me, but actually saying it out loud and letting it go..well it was a big step for me. I try to fight the world on my own, but sometimes asking for help is so much more powerful. Reaching out can be the bravest thing and it can bring out a new strength in you. Together, people are always stronger.
I didn't do any fitness related stuff for a whole week. I did not have the energy nor the determination. Even my usual sense of discipline was lacking. I spent my days watching tv shows and eating half a pint of ice cream in front of tv. At that point, that is what I thought I needed. But then I realized that not only that I did not workout, I also ate less than usual because I did not have the appetite, I did not hydrate and really what I was doing is neglecting my well-being because I was not feeling good. It's like a vicious cycle really. If you are feeling down, you have no desire of taking care of yourself. And that is really the only thing you should focus on. Having realized that, I started with small steps. I focused on eating my all meals. I focused on drinking enough water. I focused on at least taking a 30 min walk. Fitness and BBG workouts really changed my life for better, because they taught me how important it is to do things that overall help in both my mental and physical well-being. It made me proud to see that I found the strength in me to challenge my old ways. So I did my first workout this morning and it felt good to sweat it out.
If you ever feel alone, not understood, or having a hard time no matter the reason..please reach out to someone. Your well-being is important and there are people who care a lot about you. And even if you might think that, trust me when I say, you are never alone. First and foremost, take care of yourself and be gentle to yourself. If you feel like crying, cry your heart out, but don't push it all inside. Allow yourself to feel whatever you are feeling. Deal with it in your own way, but try to distinguish between the things that work for you and the ones that just push you further down. Opt for the ones that will do you good. Remind yourself that moving your body will help in making you feel better. Do little steps. Your life is worth it.